To thirteen year old me…

To thirteen year old me,   You’ve just turned thirteen and you’ve stopped sleeping. Let me tell you, kid, this is the start of a very long road, you’ve got five years of illness ahead of you, so buckle up. You’ll have a sleeping disorder for two years, no sedatives will knock you out and box sets will become your best friend. The night can be a lonely place but you’ll get through it, you’ll be awake to see the sun rise, so trust that at the end of the darkness there is always light. Just as you start sleeping properly again you’re going to get hit by chronic pain. You’ll be in hospital six times within two months and the doctors won’t know what causes it; they work it out eventually, keep going. You’ll be loaded up to your eyes on painkillers and experience treatments so agonising you can’t even comprehend the pain and the pain will still be there, but you’ve got to carry on. While this is going on, you’re going to lose the most monumental man you’ve ever known and the pain of it will break you to the point where you feel like you can’t… View Post

The Best Advice I’ve Received…

Hello, you!   I feel like it’s worth talking about the best advice I’ve received. Well, technically it wasn’t given to me initially but I got it in the end. Let’s go back in time a bit… My mum was just about to take her nursing finals and was an absolute nervous wreck, bless her. My nana, said to her ‘if you get worried, just touch your left shoulder and imagine I’m sitting on it, right there with you’, how sweet. My granddad, Papa Ron, then turned around, in typical Scottish fashion, and said, ‘right kid, take three deep breaths, think fuck it and go in there and do your best’ now THAT is what I’m talking about.      I don’t remember when this advice was passed on to me, clearly it wasn’t at age three, because as much as I come from a long line of Glaswegians and Geordies, we’re relatively civilised;) Anyway, for some reason my granddad, the legendary Ronnie Campbell, told me this and I haven’t forgotten it since. You see, we live in a society where everyone feels judged and people get too nervous to do things they actually want to do, but all it really takes… View Post

Rocking the Red Lip

Hello, you!   Today has been a shitty day, but I managed to conquer it with the number one weapon in my arsenal – A RED LIPSTICK. I don’t think there’s any other type of make-up that makes me feel as strong as a kickass red lip and sometimes, you’ve just got to drag yourself out of bed and put your war paint on.     Loads of people have said to me ‘I don’t feel confident enough to wear red’ or ‘red lipstick won’t suit me’ – NO! I genuinely believe that there’s a red lipstick for everyone, bloody hell, sounds like we’re talking about ‘soul mates’ here, but with lipstick, we may as well be. I believe in red lipstick suiting everyone as strongly as I believe that all men look good in a blue shirt – something that no one has yet proved wrong – fellas, take my advice on this one;) It’s just about finding a red that suits you, or one that you love and feel comfortable in, whether people think it suits you or not – to hell with them, it’s your time to SLAY. Whether it’s a bright red or a red wine… View Post

The Chronic Canceller

Hello, you!   We need to talk about the beauty of people who are understanding when you cancel plans. Having gone through extensive periods of illness in my life, I’ve had to cancel A LOT of plans, sometimes at the last minute. Living with a chronic pain syndrome means there’s no way of knowing how much pain I’m going to be in from one day to the next and in bouts of depression and anxiety, sometimes, you just don’t feel up to attending things you arranged on a good day. There are people that I absolutely DREAD having to cancel plans with, knowing full well that their reaction isn’t going to be a great one. In the past, people have said to me ‘Okay, I’m so done with this now’, ‘Really? You’re ill again?’, and ‘Don’t make plans if you’re not going to keep them’. Every one of those comments has been an absolute slap in the face. I don’t dispute for one minute that having plans cancelled at short notice is incredibly annoying, but imagine how it is for the person who has to cancel AND has to suffer with what’s preventing them from attending. I’ve noticed that people… View Post