#MakeupAndASmile

Hello, you!   It’s been a while since my last blog post – my usual opening sentence – I’m not even going to beat around the bush with my usual ‘back again’ performance, I’m just going to dive straight into it. I haven’t been blogging because I’ve felt like utter shit since I got back from Thailand (posts coming soon about that crazy adventure though – I’m sure you’re tempted to return to my blog after that sparkling opening ;)). The truth is, I’ve been more depressed than ever before and I’ve not been in my usual mood for spreading joy – however, I had a eureka moment as I sat drying my hair this morning. It starts like this… I’m really tired of telling people I feel rubbish and hearing things like ‘oh but you don’t look ill’ or ‘but you look great!!!!’ in return  – thanks, I know, I’m a naturally gifted beauty, what can I say?;) I’m just kidding, but I am really tired of hearing these things – I’ve heard them for YEARS, be that with my chronic pain or my mental health. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of people are truly well meaning and… View Post

Not Today Sadness: The Ultimate Happy Playlist

Hello, you! It’s been a while… You should know that right now in my head after typing that, all I can think of is the opening of Britney’s big comeback song ‘Break the Ice’ where she says ‘it’s been a while… I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting… But I’m here now’ because clearly, you’ve been waiting with baited breath for my monumental return like we all did for Britney’s post 2007 resurgence.  Anyway, it’s been a bloody rough month. In my last post I spoke about how I was bored of recovering a month after my surgery, HAHA – two months on… I’m still recovering. I don’t know why I thought a ‘three month recovery’ would mean a couple of weeks to actually recover from the surgical pain and then another few weeks of feeling tired, GOOD LORD, I was wrong. It’s two months on now and I’m just bloody knackered. I’ve genuinely had some of the worst days of my life since my last blog post, I’ve felt incredibly lost and I’ve really struggled – in a way I never really have before. My second surgery absolutely obliterated me, I have genuinely felt dead… Like the only thing living about… View Post

Get Well Soon

Hello, you!   Those of you who follow me on Instagram or Twitter may know that I’ve been really unwell again – the pain I experienced in April/May time returned. This time, it clearly couldn’t be my appendix (as originally thought) as they had already removed it earlier this year – you can read about this here.  Over summer, I had twinges of the original pain – it was so distinctive – I assumed, and desperately hoped, that it was just scarring from the operation to remove my appendix. In early September, the pain started becoming more frequent, with a couple of twinges happening per day instead of over a couple of weeks – I went back to the doctor and he said to see how I went, book an appointment for three weeks time and review it then. Little did I know, in the space of those three weeks, I’d have had two more appointments with a new consultant AND a surgery. On the 15th September, my pain became so unbearable that I had to go to A&E, they refused to discharge me given how much morphine I needed so I stayed in for a couple of nights –… View Post

Put Your War Paint On

Hello, you!   Forgive me for any errors in this post, I’m writing it dosed up on codeine and morphine. I’ve been back in hospital this week and I’m now under the care of a consultant for further investigation – it’s all fun and games. Since I got home, I’ve been lolloping around in a painkiller haze, rocking my unicorn jimjams (don’t know whether to be proud or horrified that I own these age 20) and desperately trying to find a new series to get into. Something that has been SO important to me when I’ve been ill (be that mentally or physically) is PUTTING MY WAR PAINT ON. Just to clarify… by this I do not mean army stripes and tribal markings. I mean glorious MAKE UP. If you’re a regular make up wearer, like myself, putting your make up on, even when you’re feeling so shitty it’s almost beyond belief, can really help you to feel more like yourself again. People have sometimes said to me ‘are you seriously putting make up on just to sit in the house????’ but it makes me feel more like it’s a normal day. I’m not saying it’s going to cure you… View Post

The Only One in Your Race

Hello, you!   I’ve been away for a while – after the last health debacle, I felt relatively peachy for a grand week and a half before I felt the pain again. Back to hospital we went and after many doctors and surgeons, I had my appendix taken out. Since then, I’ve been lolloping around in pain, taking my morphine, binge-watching The Blacklist (10/10 would recommend) and waiting to get better! Due to this pain in the arse, persistent illness, I’ve had massive chunks of time taken out of revision which has meant I’ve had to defer to of my uni exams. Although this isn’t the end of the world, I’ll admit, I’m a bit miffed. Some of you might think ‘HOORAY, what’s the miserable cow complaining about?!’ but it’s hard to see everyone celebrating with their prosecco (not that I see the hype, in fairness) while I’m sat on the sofa in my space jimjams (oh yes they made a VALIANT return) unable to celebrate.  At times I thought, ‘ah everyone has finished but I have to wait till summer’ and there have been other times in my life where I’ve felt the same – like when they thought… View Post