Bloody Believe in Yourself

Hello, you!   I’ve been recovering from surgery for what feels like a lifetime now… Really, it’s just over a month but it’s gone SO slowly and things have been further complicated by an infection and the heavy painkillers. ANYWAY, because it’s been so slow, I’ve barely been into uni. For loads of people, I imagine this would be like ‘yes, GET IN’ because they hate going to lectures, but I’m a self-confessed nerd and always have been, I love to learn and I love to work. My name is Sophie and I’m a workaholic, etc etc. So for me, missing uni is like a kid not being able to go on the swings (yes, an analogy THAT sad) and I’m really struggling with it.     One of the things that I’ve noticed the most throughout this period of illness is how much of a toll it’s taken on my confidence. Frankly, it’s been obliterated. Anyone who knows me will say I’m a very confident person, so for it to take a knock says A LOT. Lately, I’ve found myself asking ‘am I capable of doing this?’ ‘what if I can’t do it?’ ‘what if I don’t do well?’… View Post

‘Learn to Rest, Not to Quit’

Hello, you!   I am absolutely living by this marvellous Banksy quote at the minute – ‘If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit’. It’s almost a month on from my surgery (you can read about it here) and as the pain is VERY gradually getting better, the exhaustion from everything that has happened is really starting to set in. Every Sunday I say to myself ‘I’m going to go into labs tomorrow’ and every Monday morning I’m unable to get out of bed, due to a combination of pain, painkillers and lack of sleep. It’s been very frustrating because I hate not being able to do anything and I’m going a bit stir crazy. Yesterday I said my famous sentence, that I was planning on going into uni on Monday, and my lovely boyfriend said ‘try not to get your hopes up because you always get disappointed’ – he said this in a kind way, don’t worry, not a ‘lol good luck with that one, love’ way! It really resonated with me because I need to let my body rest, just because I don’t go into university at the minute, doesn’t mean I’m quitting and giving up,… View Post

Get Well Soon

Hello, you!   Those of you who follow me on Instagram or Twitter may know that I’ve been really unwell again – the pain I experienced in April/May time returned. This time, it clearly couldn’t be my appendix (as originally thought) as they had already removed it earlier this year – you can read about this here.  Over summer, I had twinges of the original pain – it was so distinctive – I assumed, and desperately hoped, that it was just scarring from the operation to remove my appendix. In early September, the pain started becoming more frequent, with a couple of twinges happening per day instead of over a couple of weeks – I went back to the doctor and he said to see how I went, book an appointment for three weeks time and review it then. Little did I know, in the space of those three weeks, I’d have had two more appointments with a new consultant AND a surgery. On the 15th September, my pain became so unbearable that I had to go to A&E, they refused to discharge me given how much morphine I needed so I stayed in for a couple of nights –… View Post

Everyday Champion: Lily Deans

Hello, you!   We need to talk about my gorgeous friend, Lily… An absolute champion who has come through so much. On the 2nd August 2016, Lily’s wonderful dad, Mick Deans, passed away after a valiant battle with a brain tumour. I met Lily that September and we became good pals, she has a heart of solid gold and she’s a brilliant laugh – a highlight of mine was us sitting mid-lecture, desperately refreshing ticket websites to get Take That tickets for our mum’s before they sold out. However, it soon became clear that she wasn’t having the time of her life at uni, as so many people were, but was actually having a really shitty one. Lily messaged me one day to say she’d decided to go home for a bit to sort her head out, I drove her to the station and that was that – she didn’t come back to uni. Here’s the thing though, Lily has watched her dad suffer with his illness, she’s struggled alongside her Mum, Louise, and brother, Harry, with their loss, had a really bloody rough time at uni and she’s STILL STANDING. Here are some things she had to say…  … View Post

Everyday Champions: Nurses of the NHS

Hello, you!   Well, this hasn’t been my finest of months… From mid April I’ve had a stabbing pain in my lower right stomach – after being seen by MANY a consultant ‘is it the appendix?’, ‘is it her ovaries?’, the assumption is that I have a pelvic infection – and so begin two weeks of antibiotics and heavy painkillers. My immune system is practically non-existent so I’ve had a fair few infections in my merry time, but I’ve never known anything like this. Given that doctors couldn’t work out exactly what was causing the pain, even after multiple scans, I was in hospital, discharged and readmitted three lovely times in ten days – demanding painkillers left right and centre.   Notice my snazzy space pyjamas out in full force;)   Now, this isn’t a ‘break out the violins’ post – it’s been horrific but people battle far more troubling illnesses and I, by no means, feel like I’m the worst off. Instead, this post is to talk about the absolutely WONDERFUL nurses I was treated by – the champions of care and kindness. I understand that some people think the NHS is pretty shambolic at the minute, and with waiting times… View Post