Not Today Sadness: The Ultimate Happy Playlist

Hello, you! It’s been a while… You should know that right now in my head after typing that, all I can think of is the opening of Britney’s big comeback song ‘Break the Ice’ where she says ‘it’s been a while… I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting… But I’m here now’ because clearly, you’ve been waiting with baited breath for my monumental return like we all did for Britney’s post 2007 resurgence.  Anyway, it’s been a bloody rough month. In my last post I spoke about how I was bored of recovering a month after my surgery, HAHA – two months on… I’m still recovering. I don’t know why I thought a ‘three month recovery’ would mean a couple of weeks to actually recover from the surgical pain and then another few weeks of feeling tired, GOOD LORD, I was wrong. It’s two months on now and I’m just bloody knackered. I’ve genuinely had some of the worst days of my life since my last blog post, I’ve felt incredibly lost and I’ve really struggled – in a way I never really have before. My second surgery absolutely obliterated me, I have genuinely felt dead… Like the only thing living about… View Post

Bloody Believe in Yourself

Hello, you!   I’ve been recovering from surgery for what feels like a lifetime now… Really, it’s just over a month but it’s gone SO slowly and things have been further complicated by an infection and the heavy painkillers. ANYWAY, because it’s been so slow, I’ve barely been into uni. For loads of people, I imagine this would be like ‘yes, GET IN’ because they hate going to lectures, but I’m a self-confessed nerd and always have been, I love to learn and I love to work. My name is Sophie and I’m a workaholic, etc etc. So for me, missing uni is like a kid not being able to go on the swings (yes, an analogy THAT sad) and I’m really struggling with it.     One of the things that I’ve noticed the most throughout this period of illness is how much of a toll it’s taken on my confidence. Frankly, it’s been obliterated. Anyone who knows me will say I’m a very confident person, so for it to take a knock says A LOT. Lately, I’ve found myself asking ‘am I capable of doing this?’ ‘what if I can’t do it?’ ‘what if I don’t do well?’… View Post

Triumph Over Heartbreak – Alice

Hello, you!   We need to talk about the pure sass master and conqueror of heartbreak, my best friend – Alice.     Last year, Alice was with a guy who we’ll call Tom (to save him the shame). Tom told Alice he loved her and broke up with her two weeks later… Over the phone. WHAT A CHAP! Alice called me in hysterics, when I answered the phone the first thing I heard was her sobbing ‘Sophie, Tom’s just broken up with me’. She drove straight over there to talk to him, and when I asked her about this recently she said ‘I went to his with my eyebrows half drawn on’ – anyone who knows Alice will agree, that’s how you know shit just got real. For the next God knows how long, Alice was a shell of the person she is. In my GRAND 20 years of life (we’re still toddlers in terms of life experience, let’s be real) I’ve never seen anyone more heartbroken, and though I know it’s unlikely, I hope I never do again. Alice ended up being super low and sometimes stayed in bed all day, I had to tempt her out of the house… View Post

Unashamedley Me

Hello, you! It’s a bloody old saying, ‘just be yourself’, isn’t it? I feel like someone should jazz the phrase up a bit now, just to keep things interesting, but despite it going back years and years, people still don’t listen to it.  Don’t get me wrong, I can understand it – there have been times where I’ve felt hesitant to tell someone something about myself, not knowing how they’ll react or whether it will change their opinion of me. I can’t imagine a worse feeling than having to hide who you truly are and it breaks my heart that so many people have to do it, and continue to do it, every day.      For me, now, it’s a different story. For anyone who’s reading this who may not know, I have Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism. Recently, my friends and I were talking about people getting territorial about where they sit in a lecture and I said ‘yeah, but if I have to sit somewhere else, it throws me off – it’s one of my autistic things’ to which SOME CHEEKY PERSON REPLIED ‘you can’t use your autism as an excuse for everything’. Wow, rude. Another time,… View Post

Everyday Champion: Gemma

Hello, you! The first of my every day champions is the absolutely, drop dead gorgeous GEMMA. For a long time Gemma suffered with Anorexia Nervosa (an eating disorder characterised by an obsessive need to lose weight, often by not eating and excessive exercise) and after a really shitty struggle, became a CHAMPION of her mental health and came back kicking. Now Gemma models, works bloody hard, exercises and eats well to take care of her body and travels the world! Gemma kindly agreed to be an every day champion, here’s what she had to say…     How I’d describe myself at the time of being unwell: Whenever I think back to that period in my life, to be perfectly honest, it all just seems really rather fuzzy. It’s all just a sedate kind of blur, constant low energy, having the personality of a soggy lettuce, mood swings, attending social functions but only being ‘half there’ due to being so occupied with food, what she’s eating, what I’m eating, estimating how many calories are in this or that, how I look, how she looks, what size she is, do I look like that, etc. And of course there was the… View Post