Not Today Sadness: The Ultimate Happy Playlist

Hello, you! It’s been a while… You should know that right now in my head after typing that, all I can think of is the opening of Britney’s big comeback song ‘Break the Ice’ where she says ‘it’s been a while… I know I shouldn’t have kept you waiting… But I’m here now’ because clearly, you’ve been waiting with baited breath for my monumental return like we all did for Britney’s post 2007 resurgence.  Anyway, it’s been a bloody rough month. In my last post I spoke about how I was bored of recovering a month after my surgery, HAHA – two months on… I’m still recovering. I don’t know why I thought a ‘three month recovery’ would mean a couple of weeks to actually recover from the surgical pain and then another few weeks of feeling tired, GOOD LORD, I was wrong. It’s two months on now and I’m just bloody knackered. I’ve genuinely had some of the worst days of my life since my last blog post, I’ve felt incredibly lost and I’ve really struggled – in a way I never really have before. My second surgery absolutely obliterated me, I have genuinely felt dead… Like the only thing living about… View Post

Bloody Believe in Yourself

Hello, you!   I’ve been recovering from surgery for what feels like a lifetime now… Really, it’s just over a month but it’s gone SO slowly and things have been further complicated by an infection and the heavy painkillers. ANYWAY, because it’s been so slow, I’ve barely been into uni. For loads of people, I imagine this would be like ‘yes, GET IN’ because they hate going to lectures, but I’m a self-confessed nerd and always have been, I love to learn and I love to work. My name is Sophie and I’m a workaholic, etc etc. So for me, missing uni is like a kid not being able to go on the swings (yes, an analogy THAT sad) and I’m really struggling with it.     One of the things that I’ve noticed the most throughout this period of illness is how much of a toll it’s taken on my confidence. Frankly, it’s been obliterated. Anyone who knows me will say I’m a very confident person, so for it to take a knock says A LOT. Lately, I’ve found myself asking ‘am I capable of doing this?’ ‘what if I can’t do it?’ ‘what if I don’t do well?’… View Post

Get Well Soon

Hello, you!   Those of you who follow me on Instagram or Twitter may know that I’ve been really unwell again – the pain I experienced in April/May time returned. This time, it clearly couldn’t be my appendix (as originally thought) as they had already removed it earlier this year – you can read about this here.  Over summer, I had twinges of the original pain – it was so distinctive – I assumed, and desperately hoped, that it was just scarring from the operation to remove my appendix. In early September, the pain started becoming more frequent, with a couple of twinges happening per day instead of over a couple of weeks – I went back to the doctor and he said to see how I went, book an appointment for three weeks time and review it then. Little did I know, in the space of those three weeks, I’d have had two more appointments with a new consultant AND a surgery. On the 15th September, my pain became so unbearable that I had to go to A&E, they refused to discharge me given how much morphine I needed so I stayed in for a couple of nights –… View Post

Put Your War Paint On

Hello, you!   Forgive me for any errors in this post, I’m writing it dosed up on codeine and morphine. I’ve been back in hospital this week and I’m now under the care of a consultant for further investigation – it’s all fun and games. Since I got home, I’ve been lolloping around in a painkiller haze, rocking my unicorn jimjams (don’t know whether to be proud or horrified that I own these age 20) and desperately trying to find a new series to get into. Something that has been SO important to me when I’ve been ill (be that mentally or physically) is PUTTING MY WAR PAINT ON. Just to clarify… by this I do not mean army stripes and tribal markings. I mean glorious MAKE UP. If you’re a regular make up wearer, like myself, putting your make up on, even when you’re feeling so shitty it’s almost beyond belief, can really help you to feel more like yourself again. People have sometimes said to me ‘are you seriously putting make up on just to sit in the house????’ but it makes me feel more like it’s a normal day. I’m not saying it’s going to cure you… View Post

Everyday Champion: Lily Deans

Hello, you!   We need to talk about my gorgeous friend, Lily… An absolute champion who has come through so much. On the 2nd August 2016, Lily’s wonderful dad, Mick Deans, passed away after a valiant battle with a brain tumour. I met Lily that September and we became good pals, she has a heart of solid gold and she’s a brilliant laugh – a highlight of mine was us sitting mid-lecture, desperately refreshing ticket websites to get Take That tickets for our mum’s before they sold out. However, it soon became clear that she wasn’t having the time of her life at uni, as so many people were, but was actually having a really shitty one. Lily messaged me one day to say she’d decided to go home for a bit to sort her head out, I drove her to the station and that was that – she didn’t come back to uni. Here’s the thing though, Lily has watched her dad suffer with his illness, she’s struggled alongside her Mum, Louise, and brother, Harry, with their loss, had a really bloody rough time at uni and she’s STILL STANDING. Here are some things she had to say…  … View Post