I’ve been away for a while – after the last health debacle, I felt relatively peachy for a grand week and a half before I felt the pain again. Back to hospital we went and after many doctors and surgeons, I had my appendix taken out. Since then, I’ve been lolloping around in pain, taking my morphine, binge-watching The Blacklist (10/10 would recommend) and waiting to get better!
Due to this pain in the arse, persistent illness, I’ve had massive chunks of time taken out of revision which has meant I’ve had to defer to of my uni exams. Although this isn’t the end of the world, I’ll admit, I’m a bit miffed. Some of you might think ‘HOORAY, what’s the miserable cow complaining about?!’ but it’s hard to see everyone celebrating with their prosecco (not that I see the hype, in fairness) while I’m sat on the sofa in my space jimjams (oh yes they made a VALIANT return) unable to celebrate.
At times I thought, ‘ah everyone has finished but I have to wait till summer’ and there have been other times in my life where I’ve felt the same – like when they thought I’d have to be put back a year because I’d missed so much school when I first got my chronic pain. THEN, I think ‘I am the only one running my race’.- I can celebrate when I cross the exam finish line in my own time and celebrate in summer.
Society has so many time specific expectations – it’s ‘the norm’ to go to university at 18 and graduate at 21 – but does it really matter WHEN you do it, so long as you eventually achieve what you actually WANT? To me, the answer is no and this really helped me to decide to take a gap year, which I really needed to do, but I was worried about starting uni later than the average person. Starting a year later has made no difference in my opinion, and I got the time to rest and properly recover. A lady I know struggled in school and didn’t get the grades she needed to get into uni, she didn’t even really know what she wanted to do – so, she started working in a shop to earn money in the mean time. After a few years, she decided she’d like to be a midwife so started an access course, now she’s completed it and on her way to uni to become one. She got where she wanted to be in her own way and in her own time.
You see, nobody else is going to have the exact same experiences as you – what, when and how they occur will shape every person differently, so you can’t really compare yourself to anyone else. Any progress is progress no matter how slowly you go or which path you take to get their. You’re running your own race, other people are on a completely different track – let them jog on and focus on yours!
Stacks of love,